Anger in it's evolution

I am not a big fan of anger as an emotion. I find it to be draining, time consuming, and wasteful. However, today I am whole-heartedly enjoying the anger I feel in my heart. I am finding it as a tool for closure, for relief, to set boundaries, and to learn to love myself again. Figuring out slowly that after many relationships of being beaten down, worn away, and treated like shit, I started to actually believe that I was the worthless nothing they all told me I was.

This internal rage is making me wake up and see that I am not shit, I am a good person with a good heart, who puts my all into everything I do, say, and feel. I don't deserve the shit these women have put me through and I have allowed myself to go through. NO. I don't. I won't take it anymore! I am tired of letting women wound me and then dump massive amount of salt into the gapping sores.

If I don't start to grow and to set boundaries where this is not allowed, it will only happen again. I will attract another woman and let her abuse me verbally and mentally and be seduced into believing her lies. I will once again be afraid to leave, even if I am miserable.

I will move forward and upward, regaining my self-esteem, believing all the good things that my friends see in me, and smile a whole lot more. Today I feel weighed down but very free. It is a feeling I cannot descibe with words, it just is.