It's clear to me that many people don't do well with change. I don't know how good I am at it either. I sense a lot of anxiety within myself when certain things are threatened. There are a lot of things in this world I am ok with losing, but my house isn't one of them.
This is all brought to my attention because this week has been especially trying at work. I have been on pins and needles about my future in my current position. I have had the threatening of change roll its ugly wrath over my head. Why do I get so freaked out about this? Well, it's pretty much the money... for my house.
I'm a renter and no one will be very kind to me if I can't pay my rent for a couple of months. In fact, my cats and I will be evicted from our little place. Now, keep in mind, I am far from that kind of financial situation. I could at least buy myself a couple of months to stay in my house while looking for a job.
In any other economy, I don't think I'd be so concerned. I have a BA, and MA, and am working on my second MA. I have tons of qualities any employer would want, but right now I might be far too qualified for any job that I might actually land. If I'd land it at all because I am over qualified. I am just thankful I am in school and kindness comes to me in the form of a loan check every semester. That is some sort of piece of mind.
So, why my house? Well, I am a cancer. Not in the carcinogenic sense. I am the crab through and through and my comfort nest is the most important thing to my feeling of safety. I can survive on nasty canned food in my fridge, I can sell of things on craigslist, but lose my house... again, the panic sets in.
I know change can be good, but please, I have moved 15 times in 12 years. I'd like to stay where I am for a while.
