The Blame Game

No, I am not writing this morning to blame anyone for anything.  I have been reading all morning about a certain mental illness and all the blame they project to make themselves feel better.  I am starting to scratch the surface and actually believe that this wasn't my fault.  Nothing I could do would have been the solution, nothing I could have done could have made the relationship last.

Luckily I am beginning to see that I should be happy that I dodged a bullet.  That I was clearly being mentally abused and starting to feel the worthlessness of it all and of myself.  Hold up, no, I am not perfect, but I don't have low self-esteem, I don't hate myself.  I love the way I am and the way I treat people, hell I even think I am pretty damn good looking.

I am excited this morning as I approach the world outside of the blame game.  Ok, you can never be outside of the blame game, but the way I am doesn't need to change, nor do the things I do as long as I treat others (including myself) with respect...what have I got to lose?

I have been criticized by some that I wear my heart on my sleeve and am far to quick to give myself and my heart away.  Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't see this as a bad thing.  I fall in love fast and hard with all kinds of people, places and things.  I put myself out there so no one needs to guess what I think or what I feel.  I am not into playing the games of "maybe I should wait 4 days to call her"... if I feel something, bring it on.  I might leave myself a little more open to heartbreak and disappointment, but I sure do see some gorgeous things.