Ok, I get it. "You're tough," "you'll be fine,""it'll be over and done with soon." I get it. So, please don't leave a comment of how I'm gunna be ok. I know I will. There is no other choice.
Am I nervous? Absolutely. I'm nervous about being out of work for 2-6 weeks and paying my bills. I'm nervous that the surgery won't work and I'll still be in pain, or more pain for that matter. I am torn, wanting to enjoy my time off but not being able to do anything. I am freaked out that the doctor prescribed me so many pain killers. I am an addict after all.
Luckily, I have a high pain tolerance. I sit through hours and hours of tattoos, have been pierced 13 times in my face and ears, and have lived with this shoulder pain for a while already. But, how bad is this going to hurt? I mean, 60 painkillers. Is that needed or is my doc just careless with his prescription pad? I don't think it is my surgeons neglect, I think I might actually need all of them. In that case... I am afraid of the pain that will be created.
I know, I know, shut up... I have a thousand different reasons to be optimistic. I am optimistic for the long run results. But, I needed to voice my fears, because the second I raise concern, people stop me to tell me how it'll all be ok. Let me finish my concerns, damn it! So, I vent here, even if it is to no one on an internet blog lost deep in cyberspace.
thank you for saying this. surgery is scary as shit. and i think that's why people rush to comfort. scary things are hard for people.
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